last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
