He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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