So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
