due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
