you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
