Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
only if we run a train.
done.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You made out with two different species that night
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
