perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
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There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
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This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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