in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
