PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
