____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Hello my rib-scented angel!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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