I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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