I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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