I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
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The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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