Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
