I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
