she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
