True but thats because hes a fetus.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
