Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Someone signed my nipple.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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