Yo dont text me then not text me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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