i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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