my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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