Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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