you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
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You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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