Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
