I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
false alarm. still invincible.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
