I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
