it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
