remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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