mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
