how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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