do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
