dude i'm inner monologue high
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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