Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
