i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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