Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
