the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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