is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
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Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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