i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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