You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it's like iHOP with fire
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
