Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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