Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
