I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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