hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
