I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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