Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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