JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
And then the night went full on bisexual.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
