guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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