I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think your dad took our porno
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
