my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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