Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
