Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
