I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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