Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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