I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
