He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
