Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There r osticjed everywhere
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think your dad took our porno
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
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