Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize