Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
