Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
