69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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