In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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