Only a mothe r could love this liver
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize