Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
