I wanna bring you to show and tell
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
