Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
