no, he came in my armpit
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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