i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
