so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
