names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
