If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
