haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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