I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Houston, we have a blender
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
