Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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